A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps… Proverbs 16:9

I thought I’d be married at 25 I’m now 37 and still unmarried
I’ve gone back and forth over whether I truly wanted to be married. (Sometimes this line of thinking serves as a coping mechanism to deal with my single status)

Marriage is hard work that I know now! Just by conversations I’ve had with friends who are married and divorced. At 25 and even at 30, my desire to get married was purely driven by selfishness. It was more about having a glamorous wedding, consistent sex and what someone would give me and not what happens after we say I do or even all the foundational groundwork that goes into preparing for a marriage before walking down the aisle to stand before God and make a covenant to become one flesh.

 Just last week, I was going through and old prayer journal I had found. I had a clearly defined outline of the qualities and traits that I desired in a life partner. Not all of the men I dated lined up with everything on that list! They exhibited maybe one or at best two. I was dating without having a real purpose. I wasn’t holding myself accountable to what I said I really wanted and was just feeling my way through this dating world. Blindly going along with what ever felt good in the moment. Not focused on the things that would create a lasting relationship. God brings two people together for a specific purpose. Each has been given a personal purpose and when the two join, the marriage should serve as a ministry of bringing each other closer to God and fulfilling the purpose that God selected for their marriage. 

I am preparing myself to truly be vulnerable, transparent and naked with the man of Gods choosing for my life. 
I want a life partner that I can pray with and for and worship and praise God together. 
I want to selflessly give of myself each and every day. 
I want to build someone up continuously 
I want us to grow one another challenge one another and reach new heights that only having a God filled relationship can bring.